Have you ever wondered how some people quickly bounce back after facing difficult events in life? How some people quickly recover after serious illnesses, death of a loved one, loss of a job? What exactly enables them to do so? It involves resilience, an ongoing process that requires time and effort.
So what is it, that specific quality which allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever? Resilience is not a rare ability. Common misconception is that resilient people are free from negative emotions or thoughts, and remain optimistic in most or all situations. That’s not true, people who demonstrate resilience are people who are able to effectively balance negative emotions with positive ones. That is the process of adapting well in the face of trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. Which means “bouncing back” from difficult experiences. It is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.
Developing resilience is an individual journey. People do not all respond the same to stressful life events. An approach to building resilience that works for one person might not work for another. However there is a combination of factors which contribute. For instance having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Also the capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out. Confidence in your strengths and abilities. Having a positive view of yourself. The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses. Skills in communication and problem solving. Important thing is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you as part of your own individual strategy. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings!
Taking care of yourself helps you to keep your mind and body fit to deal with difficult situations. Engage in activities that you enjoy and exercise regularly. Always try to nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts is also important. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader perspective. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some way as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable. Also increased sense of self-worth, a more developed appreciation for life.
Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be possible as a result of different life situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter. As we already said, good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens your resilience.
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